Anthony J. Crowley

Aziraphale, I know you know how to use this phone, pick it up.

[Sharp,low hiss ofannoyance is heard through some slight static]

I have said it before, but I must say, that this time it is more true than it has been in a long time. Hell is empty, and all the demons are here.

[Dull thud of something metallic hitting something soft, possibly fleshy, followed by some hissed curses in a language no human would know]

I was confronted by some old preacher man, spreading the fear around, saves me the trouble. Don't think I can do much these demons aren't doing already. In fact, the Arrangement may be a bit out of balance if this keeps up. I think perhaps, ah hold on,

[More dark hisses and some awkward snow shuffling]

Sssod off, you bloody nuissances.

I think I will be heading over to your bookstore after all, for some spirits, the liquid kind, not these somewhat familiar faces.
I do not generally make a habit of sticking around other demons. None of us really trust each other, with good reason

With all this 'evil' about, I doubt Below will notice if I do happen to make any... bad judgements, so long as this is going on.

Don't take it to mean anything it doesn't. Because it doesn't/

[Clearing of a throat and the crunching of snow underfoot resumes]

If I stumble across any strays, and I am not making any promises so don't [Static cuts the phone off, leaving the line dead]